Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
