Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
