she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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