I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
