Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
