Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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