omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
