I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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