Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I believe in your delicious
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
