I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
