all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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