For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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