We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
