i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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