Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
