My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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