it's not cheating when I paid for it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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