No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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