have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
These tits shall not be calmed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize