8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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