so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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