If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
