no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
