from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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