Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
