I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
