I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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