I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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