You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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