what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize