Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
