just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
