Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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