I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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