Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
