I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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