it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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