I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
