PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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