I'm so fucking centered right now
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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