hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
operation have a gay friend backfired
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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