Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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