MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have feelings that need drinking.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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