She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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