so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
