I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
