I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
