My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
