if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cut my penus on the lid.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
