when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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