If i come over, it means nothing
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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