i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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