So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
