The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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