I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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