Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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