susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
