We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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