I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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