I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
