Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
