Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
is that a dick in a sweater?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
