Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
