I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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