this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?