If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
