I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you bring me the toilet please
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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