i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos