Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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(513): View more from Ohio

She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"

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(573): View more from Missouri

I want her autograph on my taint

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.

(747): View more from California

Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.

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(559): View more from California

well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"

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(520): View more from Arizona

Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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(602): View more from Arizona

This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.

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