So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
