Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
