goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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