Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
