Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
