so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
