Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
